A Fly on the Wall

In the beginning, Elina and I attended a lot of Mommy and Me type classes. It's fun because the parent participates with the child in doing activities. I always like it, whether it's gymnastics or music, because I can get a sense of where Elina is at--what she's good at, where she needs help, what she likes, and what she's afraid of. It also gives me ideas about activities and songs. I've also met a lot of nice moms who have now become friends.

However, once your child turns 3, it's a whole new world. The parent no longer gets to participate. You take your kid, drop them off, and then come back to get them 45 minutes later. It's unnerving. Can you imagine going from knowing every minute little detail about what your kid is doing to knowing absolutely nothing? It's been a few weeks now and I still have trouble with it. It's not that I want to know EVERYTHING, but I just like to see how Elina reacts to new things.

What makes it worse is that the only account of the event that I can really get is from Elina herself. Do you know what it's like to try to get a full story from a 3 year old?? It's like pulling teeth. And the stories come in bits and pieces...over the course of a few days...and never in completion. I'm dying here, people. This semester Elina is actually participating in a few things and I really never get the full picture. Dance class, Kindermusik, and preschool--I have no clue what goes on entirely. "I don't know" seems to be Elina's go-to response to any of my questions to obtain any information.

Yesterday was dance class and she actually went all by herself since Eli had to nap. Here were our conversations throughout the day (emphasis on "throughout the day")--

Me [a little too excitedly]: What did you do today?!?
Elina [stoically]: I don't know.
Me: The teacher said something about ants...
Elina [excitedly because you can tell she just remembered]: Oh! We had ants in our pants and we had to shake around like this [shaking her butt] and then the ants went on the ground and we had to run away like this [running away dramatically]!
Me: Wow! That sounds like fun! What else did you guys do?
Elina [losing interest already]: I don't know.
Me: Ok.
[an hour passes by]
Elina: Oh, here's another dance we did! [and she shows me some stretching and plies]
Me: That is SO good. What other dances did you do?
Elina: I don't know.
[another hour passes by]
Elina: Oh, we pretended a bear got away and we were running away like this [dancing and running]!
Me: That's great! What else did you do?
Elina: I don't know.

See what I mean?? Just painful.

Don't get me wrong. I do enjoy the freedom of not having to provide all the entertainment all the time now. It's nice to either spend one-on-one time with Eli or just time by myself. I also understand that she's growing up and becoming more independent. I'm proud that she is secure enough to go do things on her own without her Mommy by her side. I guess this process is more about me letting go a little. And I know that it'll only get worse as she gets older.

Maybe my curiosity would be satisfied if she just told more complete stories. Maybe it'll be different when she's older and will want to tell me about her day. But for now I have to live with partial stories about partial things. This is why I wish I could be a fly on the wall wherever she's at. Bzzzzzzz...