Struggling with Balance

As a parent, I constantly struggle with balance. Does Elina need to participate in this activity or is she already in enough things? But will she like it if I let her try it? Should we go out and do something fun today or just stay at home in our pjs? Should we go run necessary errands or go some place fun instead? Should we have a playdate or just get things done around the house? A lot of it has to do with entertaining the kids versus getting real things done. It's a dilemma because you want the kids to have fun, but at the same time you want to be able to get your life in order.

This school year has already been too busy for me. It seems that Elina has a lot going on Tuesdays through Wednesdays--school, piano, dance, soccer, and playgroup. (And she's only four!!) We used to attend a neighborhood music class on Mondays, but I had to drop out of it for now. During the first 2 weeks of school, I constantly felt a weight on my shoulders..."I'm going to be late if I don't leave in 5 minutes...I only have 2 more minutes left and I have to pick Elina up...I only have 20 minutes left and we have to go." I always felt a time crunch. So I decided I needed to keep Mondays and Fridays open. If we had time, we'd have a playdate with friends or go some place fun. If not, then we'd just veg at home or go run errands. AND I was not going to feel guilty about it...or at least I'd TRY not to feel guilty about it.

So last night I tucked Elina into bed and this was the conversation we had:

Me: See you in the morning. We don't have anything for tomorrow so it'll be a great day.
Elina: What are we going to do?
Me: Well, we might have to go some place. [I was trying to be vague because we actually had to go run errands, which equals no fun in kid language.]
Elina: I like going places! But I don't like going to stores, I like going to play places.
Me: Well....we actually have to go to a store.
Elina: A store?? What store?? Is it HEB [our local grocery store]? Because HEB is a store but I like it. Are we going to HEB?
Me: No....it's not HEB.
Elina: What kind of store is it?
Me: We have to go get you some pants....
Elina: I'm scared of pants!!!!
Me: Sorry, but we have to go do that tomorrow. Good night!
Elina: Ooooookaaaaaayyyyyy. Good night.

So much for not feeling guilty. But I'm learning to just let it go for now. After all, I AM the adult, right?